


Love

by spacefucker



Series: 30 Day Challenge (Marvel) [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Polyamory, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-29 13:32:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8491645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacefucker/pseuds/spacefucker
Summary: Tony hasn't loved a lot of people in his life and the ones he does are few. After a while he falls for Steve, followed quickly by Bucky, and panics. After overhearing a conversation between the two he runs away and tries avoiding it altogether. Will he ever go home? Will he ever talk to them again?





	1. Chapter 1

To say that Tony makes and ends relationships arbitrarily is not quite fair.

Contrary to what most people decide to think about him he’s good at paying attention. One of the things that he’s always been good at is reading people. The trick is to not let on. Poker had always been his game and there was no denying his ability to bluff. Hell, he’d hustled more people in his days at MIT than he could keep count of. The trick is to make everyone around you assume that you’re nothing more than a jackass. Selfish, inconsiderate, loose, whatever – the more of an ass people thought he was the more he could get away with.

Girls and men alike slept with him to say that they had. He got a good time and they got bragging rights.

People say the damndest things in the lead-up. Little bits here and there about their father or mother’s business or off-hand statements about mergers that were in the works. He was constantly being underestimated and he didn’t care one bit. It just meant more information.

And sure, it seems a little heartless to form relationships that he won’t let go anywhere but it’s the business world and it is what it is. He never, though, does anything to purposefully hurt the people he’s with. He just figures that people with him want one of two things: the bragging rights aforementioned or information; and Tony only dealt in bragging rights.

Besides, it’s what he was used to. He started young. His father sending him to their business rivals’ as part of what was essentially a honeypot mission. It never seemed to matter whether or not they were men or women and the age never mattered either.

Well, you know what? That was neither here nor there. Point is that it was emotionless. The only person he had ever had an actual, loving relationship with _ever_ , really, was Pepper. And it had been amazing. She’d shown him how great it could be to be loved like that. And he was addicted to it from day one.

But, ever the alarmist, Tony made it a point to rein it in and only love people whose chances of betraying him were small. Pepper, Happy, Jarvis, Rhodey, Obie. But then Obie had ripped his heart out and he was left with four loves left – not counting drinking or smoking – and several hundred percent more cautious.

It has never been said, though, that the head and the heart listen to one another. So, while he thought that he should be more careful with those whom he gives his love to, his heart just went ahead zero to sixty miles per hour with the people on his team. All of them, even Clint when he’s being an asshole, and Tony was definitely scared close to death of the whole thing but he _it’s ok_ because at least he wasn’t _in love_ with any of them.

Until he broke up with Pepper, or rather, she broke up with him. Which is fine because, you know, Tony still loves her and she still loves him and it may hurt but at least she’s still a part of his life.

And then he fell in love with Steve.

And then Bucky.

All at once he was going insane and just started spending more and more time either in his shop or out of the tower with Pepper or Rhodey just to get as far away from the problem as he could. Until one day when he came back and was on his way to the kitchen and just happened to catch a conversation between Steve and Bucky around the corner.

“I like the guy, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t think he’s good relationship material.” Steve says, “He can’t hold down anyone. Even Pepper let him go.”

Bucky cuts in with, “That’s not fair.”

“Oh, come on, Bucky. You’ve seen it. He just jumps around to the next thing with two legs.”

“I guess.” Bucky says, slow. “I just think that something might be going on, though.”

He can practically see Steve shrugging, “Maybe there is. I don’t know. But I can’t handle that, Buck. I can’t go through something like that.”

Tony’s just about heard all he can and turns right around and leaves. He first thinks to just go to his room but instead just leaves the building altogether and stays gone. And he intends to for as long as he possibly can.

It doesn’t matter, either. Tony’s trying really hard to distance himself from the pain. He’s been slighted again by not one, but two people he’s loved. So he answers calls to assemble and he attends only the _absolutely necessary_ team building exercises. He stops seeing anyone altogether, too. He can’t handle the empty sex and Steve’s right, he couldn’t even keep Pepper down so what’s the point in the end?

Then, one night, Natasha manages to materialize next to him in his home workshop and he swears that the arc reactor may have stuttered.

“Christ, Nat. God. Who gave you entry, anyway?”

She leans against the table and smiles wryly, “You did. Dumbo.”

“Ok, so I’ve been a little distracted.”

“I’d say.” She huffs. “What are you running from, Iron Man?”

“Nothing's wrong.” He says, stiff.

“Yeah-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Ok!” Tony half-yells. “I’m running from stuff.”

Natasha smiles at her win and waves, “So tell me. What’s the stuff?”

“I love you.” He blurts, setting down his tools. “Wait. Ok. I love you?”

She raises an eyebrow, “I love you, too.”

“Like, you’re family to me.” Tony explains. “You’re the deadly, murderous sister I never had.”

“Aww.” Nat says, touching her chest. “That’s the sweetest, Tony. I am having trouble seeing the problem, though. So far, it looks like we’re having a good pseudo-family moment.”

“Well,” Tony swallows, “I love Steve.”

She sniffs, “By your tone I’m guessing it’s a romantic love.”

Tony nods and sighs, “Bucky, too. I love them both.”

Natasha blinks at him owlishly for a few moments before nodding slowly, “Ok, yes, this is a bit more of a problem. Not bad, just a problem.”

“Yeah.”

She eyes him, “Why haven’t you said anything? You know polyamory is a thing, right?”

“Yes, of course, I know what it _is_.” Tony says, irritated.

Nat shrugs and puts her hand to her chin, considering, “Bucky is probably more open to that stuff than Steve but I wouldn’t put Steve out of the running, either. Ooh,” she claps once, “this is exciting. So, what’s your plan?”

“Any plans I had were shot a couple of weeks ago.” Tony says, turning in his rolling chair back and forth.

“Yeah, it’s coming together now.” She purses her lips and then clicks her tongue, “They’ve missed you. It’s like having two kicked puppies around. Very sad.”

“I heard them talking about me.” Tony says, tired, “It was not great.”

“Do I get any more information than that?” She asks and tony shakes his head. “No? Ok. Look,” she carries on, “Steve is well known for saying the first thing on his mind and regretting a good 97% of what he says latter. You can’t take what he says as his last stance on anything.”

“He still says it.”

She shrugs, “Yeah. And he needs to work on it. But if this is something you want, take the chance. Steve and Clint have a lot alike, Tony. And just like you, I was on the receiving end of some mindless shit he’d said.”

Tony looks at her, surprised, “What’d he say?”

“That’s not important.” Nat says, “Just know that you don’t need to excuse their behavior, but you can talk it out.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

She shrugs again, “Then don’t. Either way, you need to come home. Like you said, we’re family. And we love you. So come home.”

Nat hops down off the table and pecks Tony on the cheek and says, “See you at home.” And then leaves.

Tony stares after her and the looks down at his hands and sighs. He knew, in the back of his mind, that he would have to do this sometime or another.

Besides, he did want to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony makes it back to the Tower and after dinner and a movie with the gang he finally talks to Steve and Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Description of an anxiety attack**

Tony went back to the Tower that night.

He could muscle past his anxiety, though it was difficult, because even though what the boys had said had cut him he still missed them. He missed everyone. So he flew in the suit, arching from his home in upper New York back to the city, landing on the top of Avengers Tower with a ‘thunk’ just as the sun was setting.

“FRIDAY, roll call, who is home?”

She answers, with a smile in her voice almost as if she’s happy to be home too, “Full house, sir. Everyone has just gathered for food.”

He clicks his tongue, “Damn, missed the order. Go ahead and order me something from that thai place.”

“Sir, you have food waiting for you. They’ve been ordering for you every day you’ve been gone, hoping you would show.”

“Damn.” Tony chokes back, touched. “That’s...that’s. Ok. Well, let’s surprise them.”

“Yes, sir.”

The elevator ride down seems to take forever and is just long enough to make him start questioning his decision to come at all. Doubts come, pouring in fast and doing their best to drown him. Nervousness and anxiety make his skin itch and his stomach sick. He falls back against the elevator doors more than leans against them and tries to take a few centering breaths.

In that moment, his phone trills with the whistle from Kill Bill – Nat’s ringtone – and he fishes it out of his pocket. His hands are shaking enough that he almost drops it.

_I know you’re home. I’m glad you’re back. :)_

That’s enough to make him a little less manic. The text may be short and may seem a little childish but is sent in typical Natasha fashion. He takes a few more calming breaths and shakes the tremor out of his hands and tries a smile on for size.

He answers, _On my way down for dinner. Don’t let Clint eat it all._

There’s a pause where the floors continue ticking down until he reaches the communal floor and he receives her next text.

_Got extra._

Tony smiles and steels himself. He sets his shoulders back, raises his chin, and puts a spring in his step. Walking with purpose while his heart beats away a quick staccato in his chest he clenches his hands until the nails are biting into his skin and does his best to put on his showboat smile and opens the door.

The moment he does he’s assaulted by the glorious smell of Thai and the heart-wrenchingly familiar image of all his teammates settled around the living room. From the way it looks, everyone has been waiting for him. Food is unopened and the movie queued, paused and ready.

“It’s about time.” Clint says, hands hovering over his food, ready to eat.

Tony scoffs and looks to Natasha, “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“What’s a surprise is how long it took you to get here.” Nat snarks at him but gives him a soft look and a small smile.

Tony isn’t sure if he should bother looking at Steve or Bucky but figures it is kind of awkward to avoid looking altogether so he chances it. Bucky looks tired, like he hasn’t slept a wink, and a little pissed off. His arms are crossed and his ankle is resting over his knee. Tony deflates a little and the action seems to soften Bucky – who opens himself up and pats the empty seat next to him.

Unfortunately, the open seat is between Bucky and Steve. So Tony takes the time as he walks over to look at Steve, who is looking at Tony with an unreadable gaze. His face is blank, almost carefully so, and he slides his gaze from Tony to the TV and waits.

So Tony sits, grabs his food, and spends the entire movie eating and trying desperately to not touch Bucky or Steve. It’s a little hard with both of them being super soldiers and it isn’t exactly comfortable but it still feels good – like home.

It isn’t until the containers are empty and the credits are rolling that either of them say anything. It’s Bucky, leaning in close and whispering. It feels a little intimate and Tony looks around the room to find most everyone cleaning up and leaving, paying no mind.

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Tony huffs and folds in on himself a bit, “It’s not a big deal, Bucky.”

Steve butts in, “You may sequester yourself in your workshop but you’ve never just left the Tower without telling anyone.”

“You had us worried.” Bucky adds.

“I call your bluff.” Tony snaps and then reels himself in. “Why does it matter?”

Steve shifts on the couch and turns to look at Tony more head-on, “You don’t think we care about you?”

“That’s ridiculous, Tony.” Bucky says, scoffing.

“Is it?” Tony laughs a little, hollow, “’Even Pepper let me go’, _Steve.”_

Steve blanches a little at that and leans back, shocked, “Tony-“

“He didn’t mean that.” Bucky tries to save. “Stupid punk just says the first thing going through his head.”

“He still said it.” Tony hisses through bared teeth.

Steve sighs and rubs a hand over his face, “I’m sorry, Tony.”

“Sorry doesn’t really cut, Steve.” Tony shrugs and rises from the sofa.

Both men stay on the sofa and look up at Tony. Both of them have varying levels of regret. Steve was picking at his fingernails – the way he does when he’s anxious – and Bucky’s chewing on his lip for the same reason.

“You know, not that you deserve and explanation, but I do everything for a reason.” Tony takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, “People are always trying to take things from me and use me. So, ‘jumping around to the next thing with two legs’ is one of my types of reconnaissance. But even if it was just for fun it’s no excuse for what you said.”

“I don’t know what else to do, Tony.” Steve says, hands out in submission. “I didn’t mean it.”

Tony scoffs, “That’s not what it sounded like.”

Bucky shakes his head and stands, gesturing to Steve, “He’s a bit insensitive, sure. But believe me when I say that he was hurt.”

“Playing the victim?” Tony laughs.

“I thought we were leadin’ up to somethin’, Tony!” Steve snaps, standing up. Tony backs up a little and Bucky places a hand on Steve’s chest. “I thought we had something.” He says, a little softer. “And then, next thing we knew, you were traipsing off with that man from the gala.”

Tony shakes his head, “I don’t understand.”

Bucky sighs and steps closer to Tony, “We’ve been mooning after you for ages, Tony. Doing everything but saying that we wanted you. Apparently, it wasn’t enough.”

“You mean…” Tony tries, having to swallow around a lump in his throat, “that the both of you…you two? Want to date me?”

“Yes.” Steve says, exasperated. “We thought you knew. We thought you were getting the message.”

Tony laughs and shakes his head, “You know that I’m not the King of subtlety, Steve. I need people to come right out and say things.”

“Told you.” Bucky says to Steve.

“I didn’t want to scare you off.” Steve says, sad. “I’m sorry I assumed.”

Tony sighs and his shoulders sag, “You really hurt my feelings. I was on my way to confess my feelings to you – to the both of you – and I heard you talking.”

Bucky clicks his tongue and reaches out all the way to Tony to pull him into a hug. It’s a little crushing but warm and everything that Tony didn’t know he needed. Tears prickle in his eyes and he chokes back a sob, just barely, and clings onto Bucky. Before he can process the open affection another set of arms encircle him from behind, squeezing him on just the right side of comfortable, in a super soldier sandwich.

Steve speaks then, voice slightly muffled, “This is our official notice, Tony. We want you.”

“We want you to be a part of this.” Bucky agrees.

“Ok, ok.” Tony smiles, sniffing and burying his face into Bucky’s neck. “Message received.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the Tony sandwich. 
> 
> Finally did part 2, ya animals.
> 
> Part 3 will be smut (which I'm still kind of new at)

**Author's Note:**

> Every summary I make sounds like the back to some dime-store romance novel.


End file.
